Gather around, folks, because we’re diving into the world of political limbo, financial hijinks, and constitutional headaches with a side of exasperated laughter. Welcome to the CNMI and U.S. Virgin Islands' misadventures in democracy and finance—a saga that could make even the most seasoned bureaucrat throw up their hands and say, "Girl, please!"
A Problem Older Than Your Grandma’s Recipe Book: No Vote for the Territories
Let’s start with the viral mic-drop-but-also-got-cut-off moment of U.S. Virgin Islands Delegate Stacey Plaskett. In the middle of the House speaker vote, Plaskett interrupted with a fiery “parliamentary inquiry” (read: public dragging) about why the territories weren’t called to vote. “This body and this nation has a territories and a colonies problem,” she declared, summoning cheers, boos, and enough online discourse to fuel a thousand think pieces.
Her point? The 4 million Americans living in territories like Guam, Puerto Rico, and the CNMI have zero say in who gets to wield the gavel in Congress. Nada. Zilch. Despite paying taxes, serving in the military, and contributing to the economy, they remain disenfranchised, stuck in a constitutional purgatory that has persisted for decades.
But wait—it gets better. Freshman CNMI Delegate Kimberly King-Hinds chimed in with a response video titled Let’s Talk About Representative Plaskett’s Comment. Her take? Sure, we should talk about having a vote, but let’s not get too riled up until we, the community, decide what we want. Statehood? Independence? Eternal limbo? Pick your poison.
The CNMI’s 14th Amendment Problem: A Legal Loophole the Size of Saipan
Now, let’s talk about the 14th Amendment—or rather, the CNMI’s curious exclusion from it. For the uninitiated, the 14th Amendment guarantees equal protection under the law. But in the CNMI, this right takes a backseat to the Covenant to Establish a Commonwealth. Thanks to Article 12, non-indigenous Americans can’t own land here. Yep, even if you’re a tax-paying, flag-waving U.S. citizen, you’re out of luck unless you can trace your lineage back to the islands' original inhabitants.
While this policy is ostensibly about protecting indigenous land, critics argue it disenfranchises mainland Americans and limits economic development. And guess what? All this happens while the CNMI receives an average of $300 million annually in federal funds. The kicker? Much of this cash gets funneled out of the local economy through foreign-owned businesses and remittances. Isn’t it time we talk about taxing those remittances? Just saying.
Importing “Repopulation” and the Silent Majority
Here’s a curveball: Over the past 20 years, the CNMI’s indigenous population has steadily shrunk while its Filipino workforce has ballooned, making up nearly 40% of the total population according to U.S. Census data. Delegate King-Hinds might want to include this in her “community conversation.” How do we reconcile a policy of protecting indigenous lands with a labor system that relies heavily on imported workers who now form the majority?
Where’s the Outrage About the Defrauded Millions?
Now, onto the elephant in the room: the CARES Act, ARPA funds, and the CNMI’s stunning ability to mismanage federal money. From mysteriously inflated contracts to outright theft, reports of fraud have plagued the islands. Yet meaningful prosecutions? Crickets. Why the silence? Is it fear? Apathy? Or the fact that pointing fingers could implicate half the political elite?
Meanwhile, stateside lawmakers, auditors, and watchdogs shrug their shoulders. Sure, the Treasury Department occasionally raises an eyebrow, but when was the last time we saw a headline screaming, “Major CNMI Official Convicted for Federal Fraud”? Exactly.
Presidents and Policies: Who Did the Most for the Territories?
From Jimmy Carter to Joe Biden, every president has brought a mixed bag of policies to the territories. Some delivered much-needed economic boosts (thanks, Clinton), while others barely acknowledged the islands existed (cough Reagan). But none have addressed the root issues: a lack of representation and systemic inequality. And with the Trump Supreme Court leaning heavily into “originalist” interpretations, don’t hold your breath for sweeping constitutional changes anytime soon.
The Free Ride That Isn’t: Tax-Free but Not Trouble-Free
Sure, the CNMI boasts no federal income tax, and that’s great—for imported workers and fly-by-night businesses. But for local residents and indigenous people, the benefits of this tax haven are often overshadowed by economic stagnation, rising inequality, and a lack of long-term investment.
A Call to Action: “Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself”
Before we wrap up, here’s a reality check. If you’re a mid-career professional wondering why this matters, consider this: The issues plaguing the territories aren’t just their problems—they’re our problems. Federal funds are being wasted. Millions of Americans are being ignored. And the system isn’t just broken; it’s rigged.
So, do yourself a favor: Visit CNMIGA.ORG and check out these blogs:
“Why Tax-Free Ain’t Free: The Hidden Costs of Territorial Status”
“Fraud, Federal Funds, and the CNMI: A Love Story”
“How Article 12 Harms the Very People It Claims to Protect”
Because if we don’t talk about these issues, who will?
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